Being Mindful and Asking Critical Questions to Get Out of Our Mental Comfort Zones

It’s no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society.

– Jiddu Krishnamurti

The reality for most of us is that we stay within a comfort zone of our beliefs and experiences and become accustomed to navigating our daily lives within that structure or framework. For the most part, this is okay. But in a time of significant change, this static knowledge and understanding can leave us out of touch and limit our potential. In fact, globalization and rapid technology advancements are by definition jolting large segments of our population out of their comfort zones on a daily basis. The way of being or doing things that worked just five years ago—or even one year ago—is no longer effective.

Unfortunately, for most of us it takes a crisis of some sort—either externally imposed on us or something of our own making—to push us into confronting our established patterns. This, of course, can be very painful, both for ourselves and for those close to us. For example, if we don’t take care of our health very well, we may end up with a major illness—heart disease or cancer, for example. Suddenly our world is upside down, and we’re pushed out of our comfort zone in a big way. If we don’t learn new ways of thinking or change our existing patterns of behavior, we risk the greatest change of all: death.

And yet, for many people, it’s during these extreme periods of crisis that they experience great insights and personal transformation. The crisis often leaves us with no place to hide from ourselves, and the truth of our existence is laid bare. We’re forced to confront aspects of our perceived reality that we’ve allowed to remain obscure, to shine light on things that have remained in shadows. In some instances, the tragedy or crisis hasn’t happened to us directly, but is of such magnitude that it forces (or should force) us to confront our beliefs on a major issue, as if it did happen to us or could in the future.

Of course, wouldn’t it be better to obtain those life-changing insights without the tragedy? (We don’t want to sit around saying, “Hey, can’t wait till a good crisis comes so I’ll finally be able to learn something new!) In fact, wouldn’t it be great to proactively gain the wisdom to perhaps avoid or minimize the crisis or tragedy in the first place? And, isn’t it the case that, when we finally do acquire that new knowledge, we often say, “Wow, I wish I would have figured this out sooner!” That itself is a key insight: the knowledge or information was always there—it may have existed for years, decades, centuries, or even longer—but we didn’t discover it. So we need to become better knowledge explorers.

The way to do that is to get proactively uncomfortable, to push ourselves out of our mental comfort zone and challenge our beliefs and ways of doing things.

I believe much of what we believe, what we do, and what we think, is out of habit. And, as we know, there are good habits and bad habits. How do we know if we’re in the grips of a bad habit? Simple, we just ask ourselves:

• Is this working for me?
• Am I getting the results I want?

This forces us to be conscious and mindful about ourselves. Many times, by just stopping and becoming aware of our thoughts and actions, we can identify what’s holding us back, why it’s arising in our lives, and how to get past the hurdle. That is mindfulness in action.

What is mindfulness?

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, teacher of meditation and founder of the mindfulness-based Stress Reduction program at the University of Massachusetts, puts it well:

Mindfulness means paying attention in a ” particular way: on purpose, in the present
moment, and non judgmentally.

This mindful process of asking questions, of being proactive rather than reactive, leads to new insights and a deeper under- standing of ourselves and the world around us. And if all of us could be just a little better, a little smarter, and a little better informed, we could change the world by first changing ourselves. Just picture that happening on a global scale. Wow!

Blogger Mary Jaksch who writes the Goodlife Zen blog put it well in one of her posts titled “Use the Spirit of Enquiry”:

Beginner’s Mind is about using the spirit of enquiry—without getting stuck in preconceived ideas. There’s a Zen story about this: A professor once visited a Japanese master to inquire about Zen. The master served tea. When the visitor’s cup was full, the master kept pouring. Tea spilled out of the cup and over the table. “The cup is full!” said the professor. “No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” said the master, “you’re full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

You can see how this story applies not only to learning about Zen, but to learning about anything at all. The spirit of enquiry is the mind that is open to the unknown, and empty of preconceived ideas. Focus on questions, not on answers.

By simply asking questions of ourselves and others, and using technology such as search engines to harness the world’s collective information and wisdom, we can transform our world. Here’s a simple process to get you started:

THE FIVE-STEP PROCESS TO BETTER KNOWLEDGE AND INSIGHT

1. IDENTIFY A TOPIC OR AN AREA YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT.

• Ask yourself why you believe what you do.
• Ask what information you’ve amassed, or experiences you’ve had that lead you to these beliefs or understanding of a particular subject.
• Who do you look up to that has influenced you to hold these beliefs? Do the reasons still hold up today? Could they be wrong? List out the reasons.

2. IDENTIFY THE OPPOSITE POSITION FOR YOUR BELIEFS ON THIS PARTICULAR TOPIC.

• Who holds these beliefs?
• Are they credible?
• What causes them to think this way?
• Am I missing something that they seem to know?

3. TRY TO ADOPT THESE DIFFERENT POSITIONS IN YOUR HEAD.

• How does it feel?
• Could you see yourself adopting this new viewpoint?
• Live with it for a couple of days and see if you start to get some insights into these different beliefs.
• Keep asking why someone would believe this as opposed to what you believe.

4. VALIDATE, OR AT LEAST DEEPEN, YOUR KNOWLEDGE BY INVESTIGATING DIFFERENT SOURCES.

• Conduct simple internet searches (use a non censored search engine such as yandex.com or presearch.org)
• Identify the most trusted thinkers in this area and read what they’ve written.
• Watch programs from trusted, unbiased sources.

5. FINALLY, CATALOG WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED.

Organize newly found information into categories that help you break down complex issues or topics into more easily understandable conclusions.

By now, new knowledge and insights will have formed, leading you to deep levels of understanding of the issue at hand, as well as other topics that were likely identified during your search.

THE TRIANGLE

By following the five-step process to better insight, my hope is that you’ll encounter the truth I find in my favorite shape: The Triangle.

The reason I embrace the triangle is that in the course of my life’s experiences, I’ve found that there are always three sides to every issue:

• Your view
• The other person’s view
• The reality or truth that’s somewhere in between

RELIABLE SOURCES

In addition to being mindful, I think we also need to have an arsenal of outside sources—newspapers, books, magazines, etc.—to provide us with high-quality ideas and information to contemplate. A methodology I find useful is to set up a system of sources that I know I can rely upon for credible and thought-provoking material. They encompass various aspects of my life—general life topics, personal health, work-specific topics, and hobbies and sports—and I refer to them on a daily basis. The knowledge I receive from these sources triggers me to think more deeply about a topic, and then guides me to proactively search for more detailed information about it.

QUESTIONS FOR GROWTH

As in the previous chapter, asking questions is a key driver of growth and knowledge acquisition. Here’s a list of questions that can help you get uncomfortable (but in a good way!):

• What are my core beliefs?
• Why do I work in my chosen profession?
• What would I do differently if money or time were not considerations?
• If I were to die today, what would I hope people would say about me and the life I lead?
• Do I make a difference for the people closest to me?
• Do I strive to be of service to others rather than on focusing on myself?
• If I had (a) certain skill(s), how would my life be different? How would one go about acquiring those skills?
• Am I putting any parts of my life on hold? Why?
• Who do I trust the most and why?
• Who would I most like to be and why?
• If I could change three things about myself, what would they be? What’s stopping me?
• What do I believe is the purpose of my life? Am I living it? What do I need to change to do so?
• What bad habits do I want to break, and what good habits do I want to cultivate?
• Am I a good listener?

Overall, the two critical questions to always ask yourself are:

1. Is what you’re doing, what you’re thinking, or how you’re feeling, working for you?
2. Are you getting what you want by your current course of action and thoughts? If not, then it’s time to think differently.

~Jay Kshatri
www.ThinkSmarterWorld.com